sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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