I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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