Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I will be naked everywhere
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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