Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
