it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
