I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
