you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
