i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
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