and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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