I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
