brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
