have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
