He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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