you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I love you.
Bad choice
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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