3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
