Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
