my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
