how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
