you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
