Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
