Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
