he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
