I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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