Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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