I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Say something about gay babies.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
