Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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