You're my little dorito
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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