Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(320): View more from Minnesota

Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks

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(517): View more from Michigan

I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis

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(765): View more from Indiana

It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix

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(914): View more from New York

They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.

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(303): View more from Colorado

There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from

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