I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
