so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
And then my night got REAL pukey
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
