I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
that's an acceptable place to lick
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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