walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
