What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
