2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
