So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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