If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
