Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
