kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
How's work?
Spinning.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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