I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
