Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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