i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
okay pat passed out under dana's car
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
