Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
