I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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