Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
