woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
