Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Randomize
