I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
