If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
