NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
