What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
