I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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